Now, I'm all for keeping drunk drivers off the road, and my own approach is to rarely drive with more than one pint of Beer in me, and even then consumed over the necessary three hours, but our Boys in Blue do seem to be getting a bit enthusiastic these days.
Returning homeward last night at 12:30 ish, and about 300yds away from my house, I was aware of something approaching at a hell of a rate on the road approaching a roundabout I'd just exited. I gave it a bare glance, but next look in the mirror and he's all over my rear bumper. I speeded up a little to gain enough space to let him know I was to turn into our road, and he's still there, screaming into the turn, still on my bumper..only then does he flash the blue lights. He does a Jack Regan in front of my car, and then has to move when I point out that I could indeed pull over....preferably into my own front drive. There we go through the usual ritual, culminating in me blowing on his chips. By now all the curtains are twitching, including ours, where the missus is pissing herself laughing, having only just driven in from the same gig herself. Naturally the meter hardly registers, and he then has to come up with some half baked excuse for his Starsky and Hutch escapade, on a vehicle with no faults, that had contravened no traffic regs....apparently they doing heightened security in our neighbourhood due to burglary...err..bollocks !!
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Friday, 18 November 2011
Antibiotics....have we got the message yet.
Hmm. Mixed messages on the news today. Patients are thick, 25% admit to not knowing what a virus is, and they inappropriately demand antibiotics. So far, so good, but it appears we give them out on demand....Don't think so. We give them out to get the steaming whining mess that has come back for the last three days on the trot, off our seat, having told them 3 times already that the Erythromycin they're going to be given (Chosen for maximum side effects) is not going to make ablind bit of difference, no matter how green their, or little Jimmy's, snot is.
There is an easy solution, the Govt could do a proper advertising campaign, you know, the sort of approach that Ricky Gervais employs when he wants to get something, (like his new series), noticed. Good old fashioned insults.
How about bloody great posters on buses, saying "Hey, Stupid..we keep telling you, antibiotics don't cure colds and flu, and no it's not a chest infection, you dozy hypochondriacal git, its a bit of bronchitis at worst, so sod off and buy some Lem-Sip."
The bleating that would follow in tabloids and day time televison would really get the point across...
There is an easy solution, the Govt could do a proper advertising campaign, you know, the sort of approach that Ricky Gervais employs when he wants to get something, (like his new series), noticed. Good old fashioned insults.
How about bloody great posters on buses, saying "Hey, Stupid..we keep telling you, antibiotics don't cure colds and flu, and no it's not a chest infection, you dozy hypochondriacal git, its a bit of bronchitis at worst, so sod off and buy some Lem-Sip."
The bleating that would follow in tabloids and day time televison would really get the point across...
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Father Ted...what have facts got to do with anything.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/nov/07/nhs-cancer-figures-cameron-lansley?fb=optOut
You'll enjoy this one. I did. Dave and Ted told that they've been talking Bollocks...well who'd have thought it. ?
You'll enjoy this one. I did. Dave and Ted told that they've been talking Bollocks...well who'd have thought it. ?
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
We are not worthy
I have been told that I get a little over excited at times.
I would like to draw your attention to the seeting mass that is Dr Rant
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Rant/193529394005612
I frankly can't compete. Go and pay homage
I would like to draw your attention to the seeting mass that is Dr Rant
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Rant/193529394005612
I frankly can't compete. Go and pay homage
The Lansley Rap
http://sotontab.co.uk/degree-break/2011/03/26/andrew-lansley-tory-tosser/
Now Sicky's no fan of Father Ted, but this young chap really doesn't like him. After the intial minute or so, ensuring that we are clear what he thinks of Father Ted, the remainder is a pretty astute description of our NHS future. Well said young man.
Now Sicky's no fan of Father Ted, but this young chap really doesn't like him. After the intial minute or so, ensuring that we are clear what he thinks of Father Ted, the remainder is a pretty astute description of our NHS future. Well said young man.
Lansley is told to release the secrets
Labour MP John Healey challenged the health secretary Andrew Lansley on 29 November 2010 to release the government’s risk assessments of their NHS reorganisation and health bill under FoI legislation [letter attached].
The Information Commissioner sent John Healey his decision on 2 November 2011, which requires the Department of Health to publish this information and confirms the government have broken the law in withholding it from the MP.
John Healey MP released the Commissioner’s decision today and said:
“The Government is forcing through the biggest reorganisation in NHS history and Andrew Lansley has spent the last year trying to keep the huge risks secret.
“The Information Commissioner now says the health secretary has broken the law in hiding the truth from the public. This is a landmark legal decision which confirms a million NHS staff and the public have a right to know the risks the Government is running with our NHS and what steps they’re taking to reduce the dangers.
“The year-long cover up is a disgrace, especially when doctors, nurses, patients groups and the public are all so worried about the Tories’ NHS plans.
“Confusion, incompetence and cover up have been the hallmarks of the Government’s handling of their huge NHS reorganisation. The Commissioner’s report is a demolition job of Lansley’s attempts to keep the truth from the public. The Department of Health has fought for a year to keep secret their own assessment of the dangers to the NHS and the Commissioner makes clear he’s had no truck with the Government’s attempts to keep the information hidden.
As we on here know already, the papers that will be released are not going to be full of any great secrets, but the "secret" they will reveal, is that no-one in the DOH has the slightest idea how all this will pan out, and that larges swathes of the paperwork will probably have "Not thought through yet" stamped all over them...
Now that might be considered to be a bit of a risk....
The Information Commissioner sent John Healey his decision on 2 November 2011, which requires the Department of Health to publish this information and confirms the government have broken the law in withholding it from the MP.
John Healey MP released the Commissioner’s decision today and said:
“The Government is forcing through the biggest reorganisation in NHS history and Andrew Lansley has spent the last year trying to keep the huge risks secret.
“The Information Commissioner now says the health secretary has broken the law in hiding the truth from the public. This is a landmark legal decision which confirms a million NHS staff and the public have a right to know the risks the Government is running with our NHS and what steps they’re taking to reduce the dangers.
“The year-long cover up is a disgrace, especially when doctors, nurses, patients groups and the public are all so worried about the Tories’ NHS plans.
“Confusion, incompetence and cover up have been the hallmarks of the Government’s handling of their huge NHS reorganisation. The Commissioner’s report is a demolition job of Lansley’s attempts to keep the truth from the public. The Department of Health has fought for a year to keep secret their own assessment of the dangers to the NHS and the Commissioner makes clear he’s had no truck with the Government’s attempts to keep the information hidden.
As we on here know already, the papers that will be released are not going to be full of any great secrets, but the "secret" they will reveal, is that no-one in the DOH has the slightest idea how all this will pan out, and that larges swathes of the paperwork will probably have "Not thought through yet" stamped all over them...
Now that might be considered to be a bit of a risk....
We're going to win the Cup
Well, here we go again. England minus the tit that is John Terry, beat Spain, by playing 11 behind the ball, and despite being played and passed off the park, the tabloids will see this as a new dawn.
If Spain had scored in the first ten minutes, what was Plan B ?
"Only lose 1-0" presumably.
And then we beat Sweden. Now it may be nice to finally do it after 40 odd years, but that just confirms that we are slightly less crap now, than in recent times......
We'll be lucky to get out of the Group stages.....
If Spain had scored in the first ten minutes, what was Plan B ?
"Only lose 1-0" presumably.
And then we beat Sweden. Now it may be nice to finally do it after 40 odd years, but that just confirms that we are slightly less crap now, than in recent times......
We'll be lucky to get out of the Group stages.....
Day Ten
Just to lighten it all up.
Our contestants are asked to provide their own letters of the week, that demonstrate the fatuous nonsense perpetrated by either patients or our own services. Examples of collusion are particularly welcome.
Sicky's favourite in the past seven days, is this gem from our Out of hours service.
"Patient rang (at 23:00) 24 weeks pregnant. Complaining of lump in abdomen....."
I'm sure my colleagues will have their own.
Our contestants are asked to provide their own letters of the week, that demonstrate the fatuous nonsense perpetrated by either patients or our own services. Examples of collusion are particularly welcome.
Sicky's favourite in the past seven days, is this gem from our Out of hours service.
"Patient rang (at 23:00) 24 weeks pregnant. Complaining of lump in abdomen....."
I'm sure my colleagues will have their own.
Day Nine
Today we recognise just how good it is out there in Primary Care.
Task today.
Try to rustle up any enthusiasm...whatever.
That's it. It should take contestants most of the day, and most are expected to fail.
Task today.
Try to rustle up any enthusiasm...whatever.
That's it. It should take contestants most of the day, and most are expected to fail.
Day Eight
Day Eight.
We'll be calling this day's activity Freaky Friday
We will be paying homage to a systemic failure to realise that 5:58 pm on a Friday is not the best time to ask Primary Care for asssistance.
Task One.
Take the phone call from the SHO in Psychiatry who would like you to drop everything and dash over to the local Unit this very moment (of your afternoon surgery) to reassess one of your patients who they'd very much like to keep in hospital under section. The SHO will struggle to understand, but contestants must take time to point out the bleeding obvious.
1) Ten minutes notice to do anything is not actually reasonable in any walk of life, let alone that of a busy clinician.
2) The date on the original section paper will be evident and everyone, yes, everyone, could have predicted to the actual minute (during the past three months) when the section would expire, so why did you wait until the very last second...DO YOU HAVE AN EFFIN DIARY IN YOUR DEPARTMENT ?
3) You have section approved Drs who can do this, I'm too busy, so get real, sod off, and give me a couple of days notice next time......now take some medication and blend back in with the inmates.
Task Two.
Deal with the local drug addict, who thinks that arriving at 5:59 on a Friday, saying he's run out his usual pick n mix of street acquired and prescription items, and urgently needs some for the weekend ahead. Points are awarded at the discretion of the judges, but judicious use of swear words and inappropriate laughter are often considered acceptable in this particular scenario (In fact discussions with on-call SHO's in surgery are routinely the only other situation when this is considered acceptable, although the hilarious option of calling the Police, isn't)
Task Three.
Handle forcibly, but politely, the request from the duty social worker to go round to see an elderly couple who they are worried about. Points will be awarded for eliciting the essential information to allow you to poor scorn on their request.
1) Discover that Social Work teams have been visiting three times a week for a month, since the husband was discharged after a chest infection.
2) Gasp, as you're told that, perhaps, neither has eaten any of the nutritious meals on wheels food delivered for the past three days
3) Sound incredulous as he tells you that there is no heating in the house (and its minus four outside)
4) Snort as he explains it's the first time he's actually seen the couple, and the case was handed over to him yesterday by a nameless colleague....(although if you can come up with some suitable names, extra points are available)
5) Roll your eyes as he suggests that maybe they both need to be in hospital whilst suitable accomodation is found....
6) Look to the sky as he apologises for ringing at this time on the Friday before a Bank Holiday.....
Task Four
Go home and have a lot to drink
We'll be calling this day's activity Freaky Friday
We will be paying homage to a systemic failure to realise that 5:58 pm on a Friday is not the best time to ask Primary Care for asssistance.
Task One.
Take the phone call from the SHO in Psychiatry who would like you to drop everything and dash over to the local Unit this very moment (of your afternoon surgery) to reassess one of your patients who they'd very much like to keep in hospital under section. The SHO will struggle to understand, but contestants must take time to point out the bleeding obvious.
1) Ten minutes notice to do anything is not actually reasonable in any walk of life, let alone that of a busy clinician.
2) The date on the original section paper will be evident and everyone, yes, everyone, could have predicted to the actual minute (during the past three months) when the section would expire, so why did you wait until the very last second...DO YOU HAVE AN EFFIN DIARY IN YOUR DEPARTMENT ?
3) You have section approved Drs who can do this, I'm too busy, so get real, sod off, and give me a couple of days notice next time......now take some medication and blend back in with the inmates.
Task Two.
Deal with the local drug addict, who thinks that arriving at 5:59 on a Friday, saying he's run out his usual pick n mix of street acquired and prescription items, and urgently needs some for the weekend ahead. Points are awarded at the discretion of the judges, but judicious use of swear words and inappropriate laughter are often considered acceptable in this particular scenario (In fact discussions with on-call SHO's in surgery are routinely the only other situation when this is considered acceptable, although the hilarious option of calling the Police, isn't)
Task Three.
Handle forcibly, but politely, the request from the duty social worker to go round to see an elderly couple who they are worried about. Points will be awarded for eliciting the essential information to allow you to poor scorn on their request.
1) Discover that Social Work teams have been visiting three times a week for a month, since the husband was discharged after a chest infection.
2) Gasp, as you're told that, perhaps, neither has eaten any of the nutritious meals on wheels food delivered for the past three days
3) Sound incredulous as he tells you that there is no heating in the house (and its minus four outside)
4) Snort as he explains it's the first time he's actually seen the couple, and the case was handed over to him yesterday by a nameless colleague....(although if you can come up with some suitable names, extra points are available)
5) Roll your eyes as he suggests that maybe they both need to be in hospital whilst suitable accomodation is found....
6) Look to the sky as he apologises for ringing at this time on the Friday before a Bank Holiday.....
Task Four
Go home and have a lot to drink
Day Seven
The misery for our luckless contestants continues.
Morning session.
Today we play Family Fortunes NHS style
We asked 100 GPs what they thought of the Health Secretary.
Contestants have to find the most popular replies..
Clue. Most will only have four letters
Afternoon Session.
Task One
Formulate a response to the Governments proposal to remove GP practice boundaries.
Points will be awarded for any inclusion of the following phrases. "Ill-conceived", "half-baked", "what moron thought...", "how the hell do we cover and provide services across PCT boundaries", "how do I visit someone in Barnsley when I work in Stockport you prat", "unworkable bollocks", "even this pig's arse of an idea won't get you re-elected".
Task Two
Write a nice letter to Professor Steve Field, pointing out that being a former (pretty unimpressive) President of the Royal College Of General Practitioners, does not actually make him an acceptable default voice for the Profession. Replies will be expected to point out that a) he wasn't asked to do it by any of us b) He's talking total rubbish c) he's not helping at all, and d) if he's doing all this to ensure he appears in the honours list, it will be for services to the Conservative Party, not services to medicine.
Morning session.
Today we play Family Fortunes NHS style
We asked 100 GPs what they thought of the Health Secretary.
Contestants have to find the most popular replies..
Clue. Most will only have four letters
Afternoon Session.
Task One
Formulate a response to the Governments proposal to remove GP practice boundaries.
Points will be awarded for any inclusion of the following phrases. "Ill-conceived", "half-baked", "what moron thought...", "how the hell do we cover and provide services across PCT boundaries", "how do I visit someone in Barnsley when I work in Stockport you prat", "unworkable bollocks", "even this pig's arse of an idea won't get you re-elected".
Task Two
Write a nice letter to Professor Steve Field, pointing out that being a former (pretty unimpressive) President of the Royal College Of General Practitioners, does not actually make him an acceptable default voice for the Profession. Replies will be expected to point out that a) he wasn't asked to do it by any of us b) He's talking total rubbish c) he's not helping at all, and d) if he's doing all this to ensure he appears in the honours list, it will be for services to the Conservative Party, not services to medicine.
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